Listening to: "On New Year's Eve" by Devo Spice
2016 is ancient history! Now as 2017 begins, let's give 2016 a well deserved "Get out and stay out!"
1.Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign: The Art of The Heel
This year's election proved to be something historical... as one of the most divided elections in the past few years. We know Obama tried his best, but this dumbass is going to screw this country six ways to Sunday! Sure Hillary isn't a good choice either, but I'd rather have the devil I know than the devil I don't. Racism, xenophobia, sexism, name-calling were in full display here. And many Americans voted for what might be the very last president we'll ever have. Other than what I've mentioned, my main gripe is this: we got a man who has been bankrupt 6 times and filled with bad business ventures as our President! Last time I checked, you need to have 0 bankruptcies if you want to be taken seriously in the business world. Here's to a shitty four years!
2.Celebrity Deaths 2016: Death Makes a Killing!
Looks like Grim has made a slaying throughout the year! We've lost so many people in the realms of music, movies, animation, business, sports, and many others. These deaths were so rampant, you need a scorecard to keep track! Thankfully, Betty White is still among the living.
3.Flint Water: Michigan's Revenge
Remember Montezuma's Revenge? Well, looks like some dumbass politicians made the water in Flint, MI so unfit to drink, the corroded water destroyed the sinks! Looks like the entire state is drinking mass amounts of soda and coffee; they're unhealthy, but at least it's not sludge brown!
4.Hillary Clinton: Catch Her In The Lie
To show that I'm unbiased, Hillary Clinton was also a piece of shit during this campaign. Seriously, the lies this woman has brought forth would fill a novel! From screwing over Bernie Sanders to remaining clueless about what the youth voters wanted, Hillary is that high-school principal who is not only totalitarian, but is forever clueless on what the kids like today. May I remind you of "Pokemon Go to the polls"?
5.Brexit: Oh Shit!
It's hard to be British. Especially when you've got a major decision on whether or not your country should stay in the European Union or not. Many Britons voted, and they wanted out. Of course, the British pound took a beating, and it forced David Cameron to resign in disgrace; more so than usual. In his position, they got they're second female Prime Minister in Theresa May... who is about as corrupt as the first female Prime Minister. And all the while, Nigel Farage is wanking off to many, many examples of voter regret. And Boris Johnson is still a dog.
6.Transgendered Bathroom Controversy: Flushing Fair Rights Down the Toilet
Remember this little controversy? In an effort to continue screwing the LGBTQ community (and not in the fun way), a senator in North Carolina tried to pass a law that bars transgendered people from going to the bathroom of their current sex. Of course, they didn't pass the bill, most likely because the man who made it was the type that he was against... peeping toms in the bathroom. Just let 'em pee in peace.
7.Ghostbusters Reboot: I Ain't Afraid of No Patriarchy
SJWs... they're a bunch that are too privileged for their own dumb good. While it is a good idea to have female Ghostbusters (remember, this was tried out on the TV show and comics), the execution fell flat because of weak script, bad comedy (I only laughed at that "Deadly High-Five" joke), making men look like idiots to make third-wave feminists feel better about themselves, crappy CGI, and a bad use of Slimer. I feel sorry for all four women (Kristen, Megan, Kate and Leslie) as they are funny in their own way. It's just that this was a bad way to go about it. Well, at least I got my debut on Dr. Demento's yearly Funny 25 thanks to it. Plus the gadgets looked pretty cool though.
There were a lot of bad things in 2016, but so little time to talk about all of them! For now, let us wish 2017 will give us something better to look forward too.
(Power Rangers reboot looms nearby)
You don't count!