Greetings to you all. This is Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto! Once again, a year closes and another one is right around the corner. Not only is 2009 shown the door, but the entire decade will be over, thus leading us to a brand new decade. Before we get to the decade, let's chronicle the idiocy of 2009.

1.Travis the Chimp: Literally Went Ape-Shit!
Around April, news of a wild chimp attack happened in Connetticut. Travis, a monkey that was owned by a woman, attacked the woman's best friend and proceeded to mutilate her in gruesome fashion. The cops later arrived and they shot the chimp down. Other than a controversial cartoon done by NY Post's Sean Deloria, this was considered tragic yet weird. It's like you try to make a joke about it, but can't. The only obvious joke I can say is this: the monkey literally went ape-shit. End of story.

2.Tiger Wood's Sex Scandal: Grabbing the Tiger by the Balls
What a Thanksgiving Day it's been for Tiger Woods! He crashed his car into a tree at his home, dialed 911, and all of a sudden, they see the names of women that Tiger supposedly had a fling with. Now Tiger is taking a break from the sport and all the while is facing divorce charges from his wife and loss of many sponsorships, as well as his dignity. Who knew Tiger was freaky, but wasn't freaky enough to do it on the green?

3.Miracle at the Hudson
I will not crack jokes about it, but it does go to show that there is such things as miracles when tragedy has come to strike it's ugly head. I wish the victims of 9/11 were more lucky that day.

4.Christian Weston Chandler: Honor Roll My Ass!
As I look across the internet, there are a lot of crazy psychos dying to get some form of attention. 2009 surely had it's psychotic sociopath in the form of one Christian Weston Chandler, better infamously known as Chris-chan. From drawing horribly drawn comics to filming himself screwing a blow-up doll to fighting against a supposed "imposter" to sending out death threats, the 27-year-old virgin with rage continues to be on the internet's hit list and a good reason why it's important to contact even the laziest wastes of live/psychos to America's Most Wanted before they do something worse. (Just in case, call 1-800-CRIME-TV immediately!)

5.Deaths in 2009: Grim Goes on a Killing Spree
Grim might have gone on a shopping spree for souls, because 2009 brought out the worst amount of deaths of the entire decade. Do the names Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, Karl "Big Nose" Malden, Walter Cronkite, Wayne Allwine, Captain Lou Albano Dom DeLuise, Bea Arthur, and Michael Jackson (amongst many!) struck a chord on you when you heard of their deaths?

But at least I can see some bright lights at the end of the tunnel: Dr. Demento gets into the Radio Hall of Fame, Bret Hart returns to the WWF after 12 years since the Screwjob, the aforementioned Miracle on the Hudson, Barack Obama becoming the first black president (despite getting on the shitlist due to the healthcare plan) and many others. Now here's the worst moments of the past ten years:

2000: George W. Bush wins election (By Cheating); Charles Schulz dies
2001: September 11 (Need I Say More?)
2002: WWF loses the F and Adds an E
2003: Iraq War started; Marlon Brando dies
2004: Bush seeks re-election and won
2005: Pope John Paul II dies
2006: Eddiespolitation
2007: Benoit goes nuts, gets edited from existance
2008: Economic Recession (We're all broke!)
2009: Michael Jackson dies, many deaths happen in between

If you have anything worse than that, please let me know. Until then, let us hope that 2010 and the decade that follows it will be better for all of us.

Happy New Year,
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto

PS- Let us not forget: and it's contest. Don't forget to submit!